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Helpful Hints For The Griever

  • TALK! The more you share your loss with others, the more you will help yourself. Good grieving is active grieving. Tell your story over and over again to all who will listen. You can’t talk too much about your loved one in the first six months.
     
  • CRY! Tears are healing. Tears of grief have a toxic enzyme in them, which needs to be released. Don’t hold them in. If you don’t feel comfortable crying in public, find a time to do it in private. Allow yourself time to grieve. Many people look at picture albums, play music or do something else that helps to make the tears flow freely.
     
  • TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Make sure that you eat nutritional meals, get enough rest and exercise. Exercise, not only, is good for your physical self, it is a must for your emotional well-being.
     
  • CHANGES. In most cases, it is not a good idea to make any major changes for, at least, a year after the death of your loved one has occurred. Unless necessary, don’t put your house up for sale or move to another town. You’ll need the support of your friends more than ever now. You might want to leave town for short periods to visit family and friends. Be careful about running too fast and too far. In time, you’ll probably realize you find contentment in familiar surroundings.
     
  • SLEEP. Many people who are grieving find that their sleep patterns change. A common complaint is awakening anywhere between 3:00 and 5:00 a.m. If this happens to you, take this time to write down your thoughts. Getting them out of your mind and on paper should make it easier for you to fall asleep.
  • DON’T LET OTHERS TAKE YOUR GRIEF AWAY! Some may try. It’s O.K. to be a little selfish with yourself. Allow yourself to take care of YOU before you choose to take care of others.

  • LEARN TO LET THINGS GO. This is your grieving time – use it. Grief is exhausting. Expect that you’ll be capable of doing less, not more, for now.
     
  • SEEK OUT SUPPORT. Rely on those friends who are supportive and search out new friends who understand. Find a support group and commit to attend it regularly.
     
  • ACCEPT. Realize that you never get over your grief, but you will learn to accept the loss and find happiness and a “new normal”. You will eventually place your loved one in a special place in your heart where he or she will always remain with you.
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