Most of the information that appears in our printed newsletter also appears in this website. This webpage contains newsletter features that do not appear elsewhere in our website:

"From the Director" is written by Cathy Clough

"Beacons of Hope"

"Letters"- The Chain of Love, You've Got a Friend, The Benefits of a New Hope Support Group

"Newsletter Sponsorship"

"New Hope Board of Directors"

"Kidz & Teen's Corner"

"Planned Giving"

"Would your Church like to have a From Grief to New Hope workshop"

 

From the Director 

As we begin our 9th year in ministry to the bereaved, I am overwhelmed at how often I see God working through our groups, our facilitators – in all that we do!  As I’ve mentioned before, He is our “team leader” and without His guidance and support we wouldn’t be here!  2007 was a great year for New Hope; we helped more people than ever before!  We also added several new wonderful volunteer “staff members” who have helped us in so many important ways. 

 We had hoped to get this newsletter out to you in December, but with everything we had going on here at New Hope, it just didn’t happen.  So – we’ve decided to make it up to you by making this newsletter even “newsier” and more of an annual report.  Our plan is to send one more New Hope News newsletter to you in 2008 which you should receive in late August.  Like many other organizations, we have changed our way of communicating a little bit by adding a monthly e-newsletter called Beacons of Hope.  It has proven to be a great way to keep in touch with many of you and get information to you about groups and events on a timely basis.  If you have e-mail access and aren’t currently getting the e-newsletter or have changed your e-mail address, please e-mail us at griefhelp@aol.com  or complete the card enclosed and send it back to us.  We don’t want you to miss a thing. 

If you have been receiving the Beacons of Hope e-newsletter, the information following is “old news”, so please bear with me.  I need to get those who haven’t been receiving Beacons caught up on our potential move.  When I wrote to you last year at this time, I told you that I don’t normally make New Year’s resolutions – that’s just way too much pressure – but I told you about a goal that I had that we hoped to accomplish in 2007.  The goal was to find a new “home” for New Hope in 2007 because of our huge need for more space.  Well, we’re still behind the barber shop, but I’m thrilled to be able to tell you that it looks like we could be getting closer every day to reaching that goal!   As many of you know, we’ve been talking with the Northville Historical Society about the possibility of leasing space at 315 Griswold in Northville – the first floor of an old Victorian home.  Lots of obstacles have popped up over the past several months since we began talking; the most recent one being a zoning issue that we needed to overcome.  At a January Zoning Commission meeting, the commissioners present voted unanimously to change the zoning ordinance which would enable us to move in.  Thank you to all of you who wrote letters and/or attended the meeting – you convinced them that we are a worthy organization! It was amazing – by all appearances it didn’t look really promising, but, I believe, God intervened.  Also in January, the Northville City Council approved the rental agreement – another step in the right direction!  The Historical Society and New Hope still have to agree on the conditions of the rental agreement, as does the city attorney.  Once this is done, we’ll be closer to making our move, if this is where we’re meant to be.  If we do get our new home, we’ll need additional furnishings, help moving and much more, so we’ll be in touch!   Please continue to pray that we will get the space we need – whether it is the space at 315 Griswold or elsewhere.  Our need is getting bigger every day.  Even if we don’t make a move in 2008, we’ll continue to help grieving people in 2008 and beyond. You can count on that!

Please take the time to read carefully through this newsletter as it tells the story of what we have accomplished over this past year.  It showcases the individuals and businesses who have shown their belief in our mission by investing in the future of New Hope through monetary or in-kind donations or by volunteering their time.  We’ve also included a listing of the groups and workshops we have scheduled for the first half of 2008 and dates for our fundraising events.  

It’s my hope and prayer that 2008 proves to be a blessed year for each and every one of you!

Cathy Clough, Director

BEACONS OF HOPE!
Have you read our E-mail newsletter, Beacons of Hope?  It has been very well received by our readers since it’s inception in October, 2006.  The reasons are many.  With it you receive information and news about what is going on at New Hope in a timelier (monthly) and more colorful fashion and it costs much less for us to produce than our hard copy newsletter, New Hope News.  We still plan on continuing to publish New Hope News, but Beacons of Hope is just another way to keep our supporters informed about our efforts (ex. workshops, support groups), events (ex. Hike for Hope), and activities (ex. Euchre Night).  In addition, we include interesting and helpful tips and articles.  Are you interested in receiving Beacons of Hope?  If you receive it and change your mind, it is very easy to unsubscribe, just a mouse click and you will no longer receive it.  If you find it very interesting and helpful, you can also very easily forward it to a friend.

Want to sign up?  E-mail us your e-mail address at griefhelp@aol.com RE:  Beacons of Hope and we will add you to our list beginning with the next Beacons.  Please notify us of all your e-mail address changes so there will be no interruption in our communication with you.

If you no longer wish to receive New Hope News please either call our office at 248-348-0115 or e-mail us at griefhelp@aol.com  Attn:  Arlene.

Do you know a business or individual who would be willing to sponsor our newsletters?  See the article on page 7 for details.  

One of our goals at New Hope is to keep everyone informed so they will be aware of all the opportunities for help we offer.  We want to reach out in everyway possible.  We hope we have met your needs.  Thank you for your continued support.

Arlene Kurzawa

LETTERS

The Chain of Love

I first met Cathy Clough in March of 1990, one month after the sudden death of my husband. I was devastated, still in a state of shock and felt completely helpless. Cathy’s warm, smiling face and gentleness gave me hope from the moment I met her.   She has helped more people than she’ll ever know.  You see her gift is in teaching each of us how to survive; how to live again; how to lessen the pain, but never forget.  As we learn, we in turn begin teaching others.  It’s a chain of love – a chain of friendship – hands reaching out to touch another, embraced links of chain.

Through the support and networking of others in grief, it helped me to know that I was not alone.  (Now connected to other links in the chain).    

Cathy helped me to realize that God had mapped out my life differently than I had planned.  With that realization, I knew I had choices I needed to make:  struggle with God or listen and follow.  I chose the latter. 

Healing didn’t happen overnight; it took time for the pain to lessen and an ability to see the direction God chose for me. I never asked, “why?”, just accepted God’s guidance.  Perhaps, that was the beginning of my healing..

I too believe that God has given me a gift, a gift to write and to tell about my losses, so others can learn from me too.  (Another link in her chain).  

There are many of us linked to Cathy’s chain. God gives us strength in numbers, with each link an intricate part of the journey she started many years ago.  

As each person begins their own New Hope journey with Cathy, they have allowed themselves to be embraced by the circle of love, this encirclement links each of us together.  May God continue to bless the New Hope Center for Grief Support and continue to guide others to the program, so they too, can find inner peace and become part of the chain of love.

Bonnie D. Hilberer

You’ve got a Friend

Back in the 70’s legendary songwriter Carol King wrote a song called “You’ve got a friend.” In an act of selflessness she gave the song to her friend, James Taylor and he went on to record it and make it famous. “When you’re down and troubled and you need some loving care, when nothing, oh nothing is going right.” 

Does this sound like you when you first found New Hope? 

Perhaps it does. If you’re reading this you’ve been there. So have I. Down and troubled in need of some loving care. Wondering to yourself how you got into this mess. One day you woke up and “poof,” your life was irrevocably changed. But no matter how you found New Hope or New Hope found you, you found a “friend.” Maybe not in the singular sense, but New Hope, I think becomes for people a collection of friends. It’s a warm place to go to at the end of a hard day, it’s a phone call at the moment you needed it most, it’s a comforting email with today’s wisdom or perhaps it’s a casual evening out dressing up and putting on a smile.  

We gather every few weeks at Circles of Hope and it never fails to amaze me how people’s lives have become intertwined, woven together by broken hearts and tears.  People who never would have known each other if not for the circumstances that brought them together and now what brings them together is a new friend, a New Hope. “You just call out my name, and you know wherever I am, I’ll come running, to see you again.”  I have always thought that your best friends run into the fire with you, they don’t stand and admire the flames and they certainly don’t run away. They are with you when you need them the most, in the fire, in the trenches and if need be lending you a shoulder. 

Through all the wonderful programs New Hope offers perhaps the most valuable thing of all are the friendships that develop amidst all the pain. People comforting people, knowing in some small way what each other has been through and continues to go through. People helping people each step of the way, climbing a ladder, one tight grip after another, holding on and no one letting go.  

I see this with newly grieving people coming to New Hope, broken, in pain and red eyed. The tissues close by for the healthy flood of emotions, and somehow, magically, spiritually, they get scooped up by people mending their own tender hearts. Close your eyes and think of me, and soon I will be there, to brighten up even your darkest nights.

So travel with me some place. For a moment or two close your eyes and think of your loved one looking down on you when you are among your New Hope friends or any friends at all. Maybe you’re laughing freely now, being hugged, and tugged and loved by people who know you for what you are, a loving spirit on the mend, moving forward, charting and new course for your life and the lives you love the most. Now, for as many tears that fall, there are as many smiles. Joy has found its way back into your life, maybe not the same joy you knew before, but nonetheless joy and I don’t know about you, but in my world, with my eyes closed, I see a smile coming back at me, a smile from someone who knows that thanks to New Hope I have a friend or two.

And so do you. Isn’t it good to know, you’ve got a friend?

John O’Shaughnessy


The Benefits of a New Hope Support Group

After your loss; after the family and friends have returned to their normal lives; after the thank you notes are written and after the From Grief to New Hope Workshop, many ask “now what”?  Martha Whitmore Hickman says in her book Healing After Loss “In our grief, sometimes we feel so alone, as though every fate has singled us out for this misfortune and we have no companions, no one whose experience of the world even touches ours”.  Even though we can never know exactly how another person is feeling, New Hope recognizes the importance of being with others who have experienced a loss similar to yours by sponsoring ongoing support groups.

 

Research has repeatedly shown that those who are able to speak of their grief with others, can journey through their grief with fewer obstacles and begin looking towards their future easier than those who do not.

 

In a support group, members share their journeys of grief.  Though each mourner is unique, support group participants can help each other based upon their own personal experiences, outlooks and attitudes.  Members are given the chance to talk confidentially about problems, obstacles and feelings. Groups are a safe haven for talking through issues that friends and family may not understand or may not be comfortable discussing.  They are a place for self-discovery, awareness and healing.  

 

The dynamics of a group vary widely, but it is not unusual to cry, to laugh and to walk away feeling better after having participated in a group setting, than if you had not. Facilitators are all trained New Hope volunteers and have also suffered a loss similar to yours.  

 

New Hope groups are different in several ways from other grief groups.  They are of course, Christian based but also age and loss specific.  There are several different groups by age and circumstance for widows and widowers,  a program for children and teens, two loss of child groups, a suicide survivors group, an adult loss of sibling group and a support group for 9/11 family members.  In addition, there are programs and activities throughout the year that will bring you together with others who have suffered a loss.  

 

The answer to “now what?” is a New Hope support group.  See the list of groups for one that meets your needs.


NEWSLETTER SPONSORSHIP

We now are producing 2 different newsletters.  New Hope News is our hard copy newsletter that is sent out to our entire mailing list 2 times per year.  Beacons of Hope is our latest creation.  It is our e-newsletter and is sent monthly to a list of over 400 e-mail addresses.  The advantage of this is you will receive information in very timely and colorful manner.  You will find out what is happening when it happens.  We also may send you announcements during the month when it is necessary.

Each is unique and serves its own purpose.  Many people now prefer to eliminate mail and get their information from the computer and others still want the hard copy to read.

We work hard to keep you informed of our services and activities.   Here is the catch – as New Hope Center grows, so does our mailing list and so do the costs of producing our newsletters.  Growing is a good thing, however, we are always looking for ways to keep our costs to a minimum.  

Even though we use non-profit bulk mail, the cost of producing and mailing a newsletter is approximately $.71 per newsletter which comes to about $840 per publication.  Our e-mail newsletter costs about $75 per month.  These costs do not include staff and volunteer hours.  

How can you help?

·        Our sponsorship is $250.  You will be featured in one Beacons of Hope and one New Hope News.  You will also be listed on our New Hope Central for one year and listed on our website as a New Hope sponsor.  Not only will you get exposure for your company, you will be performing a great community service.

·        We are also grateful for personal sponsorship donations to defray the cost of postage, printing, and paper.

·        If you are no longer interested in receiving our newsletter, please contact us at griefhelp@aol.com (Attention:  Arlene), call the office 248-348-0115, or fill out the form on the back page of the newsletter and mail it to our office.  We will remove your name from our mailing list.

·        If you wish to receive our Beacons of Hope, please contact us at griefhelp@aol.com (Attention:  Arlene).  

Remember, you can read all the news that is in our New Hope News by going to our website www.newhopecenter.net.  Some people prefer this method of receiving information.  However, we are not able to e-mail these newsletters due to the administrative nature of the task.  That is why we have added our Beacons of Hope.

Many thanks to all of you who have financially supported our publication of both New Hope News and Beacons of Hope. 

Submitted by Arlene Kurzawa

HELP NEW HOPE  NEWS

Your business information will appear in “New Hope Central” for one year, you will be featured on our website as a newsletter sponsor, and you will be featured as a sponsor in one month’s Beacons of Hope along with an article describing your services.

If you are interested in becoming a newsletter sponsor, please contact Arlene at 248-348-0115.

 If you are no longer interested in receiving our newsletter, New Hope News, or wish to receive our e-newsletter, Beacons of Hope, please contact us at griefhelp@aol.com (Attention:  Arlene), call the office 248-348-0115, or fill out the form on the back page of the newsletter and mail it to our office.   

We are also grateful for personal sponsorship donations to defray the cost of postage, printing, paper, and manpower.

Submitted by Arlene Kurzawa

2007/2008 NEW HOPE BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Cathy Clough, Executive Director
Jan Ratajski, Chairwoman of the Board
Tavia Fondaw, Board Member
Arlene Kurzawa, Treasurer
Julie Cohen, Board Member
Chris Van Dam, Board Member
Betty Baird, Secretary
John Dawson, Board Member
Rob Murphy, Board Member
John Baird, Board Member
Karen Jinnett, Board Member

KIDZ & TEENS CORNER

My experience as the Kidz Group Coordinator has been quite fulfilling for me and has enhanced my belief in what we are doing here at New Hope.  The Kidz Groups are involved each week in a variety of activities which support the grief process for these children.  The activities help them to learn about how to handle the conflicting and confusing feelings grief brings to them.  Each session, the children are given opportunities to express those feelings through writing, art, poetry and physical activity.  They talk about their loss, their memories of their loved one and how their lives have changed.  The candle lighting ceremony, which is usually done at the end of each session, is especially powerful for them.  The lights are turned off in the room and a candle is lit.  It is passed to each child, who is given the opportunity to say, "I light this candle in memory of my (mom or dad)."  Then they can relate a happy memory they have about their parent to the others.  Even the youngest, ages 3-5, enjoy participating in this ceremony.

But I must say, the overwhelming advantage to them coming to us twice a month is having the knowledge they are not alone.  They find children their age who are experiencing the same things.  I believe, for many of them, Kidz Group is a refuge from the lonely, isolating feeling that they are the only ones who have lost a mom or dad.  They can come to a place where they feel safe to have this important outlet for their grief. I am proud to be a part of this endeavor.

 Submitted by Elaine Dzwonkowski

We asked some of our KIDZ from our New Hope for KIDZ and Teens group if the group has helped them and if they would recommend it for other kids who have lost a parent or other significant loved one.  Here are a couple of responses from kids whose fathers died:

Submitted by Kara, age 15
Yes, coming has helped me get through my dad’s death.  I have got to see the other people that have had to deal with the same thing.  It has helped me because I have got to vent my problems and anger with more people that understand.  Also these people are like my same age so that is nice.  

Submitted by Zachery, age 11
I love to come to New Hope for KIDZ as much as I can because I have a lot of friends here who I have a lot of fun with and can share my feelings with.  I can really open up here.  

There But for the Grace of God!

“There but for the grace of God, go I” was one of my dear mother’s favorite sayings, one I never gave much thought to when I was younger. However, as I grew older and faced challenges in my life, I realized how true it is. We all go through some difficult periods in our lives, and having a shoulder to cry on, a friend to hug, and a support group to talk with can truly help us heal and go on with our life. I imagine that the loss of a parent or spouse must be one of the most difficult challenges one could ever face.

I have had the privilege of being a facilitator with the KIDZ group for past year. I work with Dave Kohl who has several years experience with those children, as well as my teenage niece, Valerie Stach. Recently, under Renay Weiss-Stansell’s, our program coordinator, guidance, we have had training on grief support for children based on a model from the Dougy Center, of the National Center for Grieving Children and families. This training has taught us ways to bring up the subject of a parent’s death and share memories or experiences. Recently, the groups have also been restructured, so instead of having 12 children, aged 3-7, we have 6 children aged 3-5 in our group. This smaller number gives us an opportunity to sit at a table, and we each take a turn stating our name, age, who died, and then we share a memory of that person. We try to tie in memories with a topic such as a seasonal activity or a holiday such as Halloween or Thanksgiving. We usually have a group activity or craft. We finish the evening with a snack and a “Closing Circle” where we light a candle to share a memory of our loved ones.

I realize that some of our KIDZ were very young when their parent died, and may not remember much about him or her, but we have been able to share some thoughts and memories. Some are more willing to talk than others, but all are encouraged to join in the discussion. Being able to talk with others who have had similar life experiences helps us to heal and move on, so we set aside time at each meeting to allow the children to talk uninterrupted if they wish. It is our wish that these support groups will help these wonderful children with their healing process and enables them to go on living and loving others.

Submitted by Mary Colombo

New Hope for KIDZ facilitator


Planned Giving – Remembering Your Favorite Charity in your Estate Plan
by Margaret M. Van Houten, Esq. of Evans & Luptak, P.L.C.

Every year, New Hope Center for Grief Support provides grief support services to hundreds of individuals and families
coping with the loss of a loved one.  All of New Hope’s services are provided free of charge. As word about New Hope
spreads, the demand for their services continues to grow as does the cost of providing these services.

It is only through the generosity of its many donors that New Hope is able to provide free grief support services
to individuals and families.  If you or someone you know has benefited from New Hope's services, wouldn't
you like to ensure that New Hope is around to help others for years to come?

There are many ways to support New Hope’s efforts now and in the future.  You can make present
gifts of cash, marketable securities or other appreciated property, which are all tax deductible because
New Hope is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization.

If giving to New Hope is a priority for you now, wouldn’t you like to make future donations to New Hope in your
estate plan? There are many planned giving options that can help to keep New Hope’s legacy alive well into the future. 
As a side benefit, such gifts may also reduce potential tax liabilities of your estate.  

Planned giving as a part of your estate plan could include outright bequests of cash or property in your will or trust,
establishing charitable gift annuities or charitable lead or remainder trusts, or naming New Hope as a beneficiary of
an insurance policy, IRA or 401(k).

If you are thinking of leaving a gift to New Hope in your Will or Trust, the suggested bequest language for New Hope is:

“I, [name] of [city, state],do hereby give, devise and bequeath to the New Hope Center for Grief Support,
with its principal offices located at 113 East Dunlap, Northville, Michigan 48167 [insert written amount
of gift, percentage of the estate or residuary of the estate, or description of property, e.g., a cash sum
in the total amount of ______ Dollars ($______); or ______ Percent (____%) of my estate
(after payment of expenses)] for its unrestricted use and purpose.

Another way that you could remember New Hope is to name it as a beneficiary on your insurance policy,
IRA or 401(k).  Beneficiary designation forms allow you to name one or more beneficiaries and specify
a percentage for each beneficiary.  Whether you give 1% or 100%, New Hope would be grateful for any
amount you decide to give.

If you are thinking of making a substantial gift or looking to reduce your potential estate tax liability, one of the many
varieties of charitable trusts may be appropriate for you. If done properly, such a trust could provide a current income
tax deduction, an annuity income stream for the remainder of your life, reduce the size of your taxable estate, and give
the balance of the trust to New Hope upon your death. 

For more information about planned giving opportunities, contact a qualified estate planning attorney.

Would Your Church like to have a From Grief to New Hope workshop? 

An important part of New Hope Center’s mission is to bring grief support to all those who need it. Many of the groups we provide are New Hope sponsored, but in order to expand our services, we need more churches and funeral homes, in different areas of southeastern Michigan to sponsor the From Grief to New Hope workshop. If you think your church or local funeral home would be interested in sponsoring a workshop or seminar or would be able to help New Hope in any way, please either make an initial contact or let us know whom we should talk to. Also – if you’d like New Hope group information to be in your church bulletin and would be willing to be the liaison to make that happen, let us hear from you. Help us offer more people hope and healing!